OUR STRATEGY FOR SEEING CHILDREN GROW INTO MATURE DISCIPLES OF JESUS IS NOT WORKING…

Current Australian research is shouting to us that our current ‘TGIF generation’ of young people (Twitter, Google, iDevice, FaceBook), which is more connected and more isolated than generations before them, is walking away from church and/or faith in their early adolescent years. A brief survey of some authors from across the Western world reveals that this concerning trend is not limited to our shores.

“Despite all our incredible children’s, youth and young adult programs, we have not been able to stop this mass exodus from our churches. We have not just lost one generation, we are losing several.” David Sawler, Goodbye Generation (USA)

“Students didn’t begin doubting in college, they simply departed by college. If you look around in your church today, two-thirds of those who are sitting among us have already left in their hearts.” Ken Ham & Britt Beamer, Already Gone (Aus & USA)

“If the church is hemorrhaging young people, we have to ask our selves if it’s because we address the issue of discipleship too late. Is the spiritual education we provide for our young people neither consistent enough or rigorous enough to provide them with the means to have a strong and stable faith in a time when there are many challenges to the authenticity and relevance of our beliefs?” Jason Gardner, Mend the Gap (UK)

“Faith trajectories are often set in early adolescence. Sadly, most youth ministries are long on fun and fluff and short on listening and thoughtful engagement. The former produces a million paper boats; the latter produces a handful of seaworthy ships.” Kara Powell & Chap Clark, Sticky Faith (USA)

“50,000 young people a year are leaving the Christian faith and deciding that they have ‘no religion’.” Phillip Hughes, Christian Research Australia

Only 8% of Australian churches are engaged in any regular reading of the Bible. If this is the current generation, what generation are we raising for the future? Bible Society Australia

“One of the biggest problems I have seen, and which I believe must be addressed, is that a large percentage of children who have been brought up in Sunday Schools and churches – and in Christian homes – do not continue on into adult church.” David Goodwin, Lost in Transition (Aus)

This document is the result of a collaborative approach by some of the major denominations and organisations serving families and children in Australia. Our journey towards a solution begins with an acknowledgement that a large part of our discipling strategy has revolved around the imparting of INFORMATION. While the content of our curricula and programs is important, this strategy alone is not producing mature disciples. To this equation we need to intentionally add experiences that focus on FORMATION so that faith goes deeper. The result will be TRANSFORMATION.

What are the formational ‘experiences’ that, if integrated into a 15 year journey of our children from birth to 15, will cause their faith to go deeper, be more strongly rooted and grounded, and provide a foundation and stability for the turbulent years ahead? This document explores further 10 foundational formational experiences that have largely been overlooked in our children’s ministry programs.

The beginning of the solution to see a reversal of this trend is at our fingertips – if we are prepared to take the journey?

FAMILY NURTURE

There are two Hebrews words used throughout the Old Testament that are translated as ‘family’. One describes a ‘household of faith’, the other refers to the larger ‘community of faith’. All children belong to a ‘household’ and it is this close communal setting that has a major influence on their development as human beings.

We live in a broken world filled with broken families and broken hearts.  We are losing our children from our homes and from the church. The rebuilding of our nations and communities is enabled through the transformation of families and their children.

In the light of the current global trends of young people leaving the church, and the break down of family life, there is an urgent need to work together to reflect on current and “assumed” ministry practices.

Imagine a healthy heartbeat in the family, where there is…

• A strong foundation in Christ, that gives them purpose and a destiny
• A loving environment that gives them confidence to dream
• Security in who they are, to risk doing something new
• Safety to explore, with a safe harbor to return to
• Identity in the past, so they can change the future
• Someone who will be in their grandstand, while they seek to grow

“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” Deuteronomy 6:6-9

PRINCIPLES & PRACTICAL IDEAS:

Families are the “primary faith communities “ of children, and need to be supported strongly in this role.

1. Run a “Parenting Course” at the same time as Kids Club/ Youth Group. Have child-minding for younger children.
2. “Carpark Ministry”: As kids come for Kids Club, provide coffee and conversation for parents when they come to do the ‘pick up’.
3. Provide interest groups for families. Eg – Dads and Lads Fishing weekend
4. Organise  “Parents Dinner” Nights, with child-minding; valet parking etc. Have guest speakers and topics for conversations about parenting. (Include nights for Single parents and Grandparents who have the care of children).
5. “Boxes for Baptismal Families”- when families bring children for Baptism have a special box prepared including a Bible; certificate and other items signifying the importance of Baptism.)
6. “Baptism Book” – during the Baptismal Service for a child, pass a special book around s o that Parishioners can write a brief message of encouragement for the child and family;  a significant Bible verse; or a brief statement about what it means to ‘walk with Jesus’.
7. Whole age approach to learning with resources for each age-group included in the Church Bulletin.
8. Tools for “God Conversations” with children.
9. Reclaiming the family table. Give very simple and practical tips for how to build family times around a meal table.
10. Churches to make a commitment that their families will have at least one meal a week together.
11. Ministry to fathers so that the rest if the household will follow.
12. How to help men to be heads of their households
13. Bath time, car time, meal time – life app each month. A question each week that kids ask their parents
14. Tell the stories of these conversations in church
15. Emphasise talking – communication. Emphasis not just on spiritual conversations.
16. Families mentoring other families to implement some of these strategies.
17. A bag of prayer points on the family table – very young children can pick out the prayers
18. Families listening to online radio stations with good Christian content.
19. Captivated DVD to educate parents on technology/media issues

SERVING IN MISSION

For too long children have been seen as objects of the mission rather than active participants in the mission. Children are not simply to be seen as jugs to be filled with information but rather as whole people of God who can actively contribute to the mission of God.

When any person has to give an account of the hope that is within them this causes their faith to grow deeper. This is true for children as well. Where are the opportunities for your children to be able to give out as well as taking in as they continue to grow in their journey with Jesus?

When children can serve in the mission with their family this has benefits on many levels – strengthening the household of faith as well as spiritual life of each member of the family. Sending teams to overseas mission feels has been a long held strategy of local church communities. However, very few of these include children. Imagine the impact on a child’s faith having served on a mission team in a developing country. But you do not need to go overseas to involve children in a mission project. There are needs all around us if we have eyes to see and if we are prepared to take a few risks.

“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.” Ephesians 4:15-16

PRINCIPLES & PRACTICAL IDEAS:

• Do we see children as part of the body?
• There are some things that we need to unlearn!

1. Teaching children that they can be used by God (Samuel and Eli)
2. Visiting Aged Care facilities to give a concert, massage hands, painting nails.
3. “Go West” – include children in real ways in ministry to rural churches in need of encouragement.
4. Church Leadership need to  ‘champion’ opportunities for children to serve,  so that children feel welcome and valued.
5. Connecting children to the needs of the local community. Present a community need and ask the children ”What do you think we can do?”
6. “Coins 4 Kids” Bucket- Children bring an offering and place in ‘their ‘ bucket , and have input into how the finance is dispersed at the end of the quarter.
7. Encourage kids to bring their friends from school to church.
8. Ask children to ‘decorate’ the Worship Space.
9. Doing physical tasks alongside adults to be part of the faith community.
10. Connect with both local and overseas communities to provide a balance in opportunities for children to serve.
11. Overseas mission trips
12. Delivering meals hampers to other families to be done as a family
13. Short term family mission trips – whole families go
14. Australian opportunities exist with indigenous communities, refugees, country towns
15. Kids selling something they have made at church to fund a mission vision they may have
16. Children involved in telling the stories of their mission involvement
17. High school kids teaching RE to primary school kids

RESPONDING WITH COMPASSION

Our children are acutely aware of the brokenness in the world, which surrounds them. They have hopes and fears about the future. Too often we provide our children with the adult solutions to some of the world’s problems rather than presenting them with the issue at hand and inviting their suggestions for what could be done. The Internet is filled with stories of children today who are changing their community and the world in their own way. What might be possible with your children if they were given the opportunity?

A common scenario is that one of the parents will deliver a meal to a needy family in the community while the other parent stays at home to babysit the children. Or both parents are involved in meeting a local need and they hire a babysitter for the children for this time. How much better would it be, in terms of deepening faith, if the children were involved not only in the delivering or the outworking of this compassionate response but also in the planning and preparation of what is to take place.

It is time for some fresh thinking, some creative thinking, some risky thinking about how we can empower our children and give them a voice to be agents of change in our broken world.

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” Romans 12:15

PRINCIPLES & PRACTICAL IDEAS:

• How to we help children to respond to the needs they see when they feel so powerless? Underlines the importance of a family table routine where these issues cable explored together and prayed through. Plus the benefit of a mentor to talk and pray with.
• Take some risks – exposé our kids to the brokenness and allow the Spirit of God to work through our kids. Confront our kids.
• Embrace a heart of compassion.

1. Post some stories of kids responding in our Aussie context to inspire others
2. Post pictures and stories of kids from around the world helping each other
3. Build connections between children in ‘sister churches’ eg.church has a link with community in Vanuatu and the children send letters to each other.
4. Kids have taken up a cause to recycle food
5. Encourage families to engage with opportunities in their communities, working with initiatives that are taking place eg. Community Christmas lunch for those in need.
6. As a church name a day/month to participate in something – give suggestions
7. Living on $2 a day challenge
8. ‘Go, Grow, get together’ fortnight ‘– eg. Go to local shopping centre, help elderly, wash windscreen etc
9. Compassion close to home seems to be more difficult than responding to needs far away
10. Kids are very compassionate and respond well to modelling of compassionate attitudes and behviours. DVD “Children see, Children do”
11. Giving kids a platform to be honoured in their initiatives. Eg. Creating ‘Compassion Awards’ so the stories of what children are part of can be told publicly.

ENCOUNTERS WITH JESUS

In an entertainment driven, visually stimulated, “I’m bored” generation there is a tendency to fill our program time with children with lots of activity, noise and busyness so as to maintain attention and hopefully communicate something of value. While we need to be cognisant of the ‘times and the seasons’ and use all we can to be effective communicators, there is a danger that we fill our spaces so full there is no time for our children to hear the voice of God.

Many Christians can remember a time and place where they may have felt particularly close to Jesus – at an event, at a particular episode in their life, etc. These same Christians would testify how important that moment was and continues to be in their ongoing faith journey. How important it is for us to create the spaces where our children can encounter the living Jesus – not just in words from the front but in the still small voice of the Spirit of God who desperately wants to communicate with each of us.

There are challenges in striving to do this in the context of managing behaviour and large group sizes. But let’s not lose the vision as leaders in helping our children connect intimately, personally and regularly with the Son of God.

“The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.” John 10:3-5

PRINCIPLES & PRACTICAL IDEAS:

• Our churches need to provide children with opportunities to encounter Jesus, not just learn about Him within the everyday experiences of our programs.

1. Make the most of ‘teachable moments’
2. Provide opportunities at the end of a teaching session for children to ’reflect and respond’ to what they have learned.
3. Provide ‘quiet places’/ ‘safe spaces’
4. Don’t overlook the ‘small things’ (responses and questions)
5. Circle Time – encourage children to share a ‘good thing’ and a ‘bad thing’ from their week. Then pray about it around the circle.
6. Model different types of ‘prayer’ for children to develop a repertoire of prayers to use in their spiritual journey- “Thinking Prayers”; “Asking Prayers”; “Thanking Prayers”
7. Establish a “Prayer Wall” in the children’s area and encourage them to write on it
8. Blackboard Wall…Have children finish the sentence, ”I wish God would….”;  “Why doesn’t God….”
9. Develop the concept of “Godly Play” with the Bible stories they are learning about.
10. Creating Space – often we step in too quickly with a response, answer or question.
11. Great opportunities arise ‘as we go along’ – so on daylong hikes, walks often allow for encounter opportunities.
12. A Prayer Tent set up in the area where you are having a program. Made of a light translucent material. One group had a grandma in the tent to pray with children when they wanted to.
13. The encounters may be modeled by adults and explained through natural faith conversations. Children encouraged to seek this.
14. Journals
15. Different learning styles and experiences
16. Building ‘encounter space’ (physically and experientially) in lots of different ways
17. Adults sharing with children their encounters with Jesus – telling the stories
18. Explore what it is to encounter God in the normal, mundane everyday moments.
19. Perhaps a shift from ‘we have to create a program’ to allowing space – not overscheduling.
20. Silence
21. Teaching Christian meditation

POSITIVE PEER COMMUNITY

It is true in life that we grow to be like our friends. Therefore, the more time we spend with our friends the more we will be influenced by their values and the actions that result. It is also true in life that we cannot choose our children’s friends. However, there are some things that parents and those who care for children can do to help each child in the choices they make about friends.

As children grow in age the influence and importance of the peer group becomes more dominant often at the expense of parental influence. This underlines the importance of creating positive peer environments for our children.

PRINCIPLES & PRACTICAL IDEAS:

1. Build relationships with other families who have similar values.
2. Talk with children about wise choices and actions and consequences.
3. Encourage children to bring their best friends to be part of the Church community.
4. Sport – Christian team or involve yourself teams, Soccer team
5. Intentionally training kids about friendship. See www.Kidsmatter.edu.au – social/emotional programs
6. Fun Day – jumping castle, water fights
7. Small groups -> families with children
8. Worship parties -> practice for church services
9. Vacation care/after school care

MENTORS & LIFE COACHES

Imagine a young child sitting alone in their bedroom at night reading the story of Samson slaughtering 1000 Philistines with the jaw bone of an ass. Or reading about Ananias and Sapphira dropping dead because they were a little too liberal with the truth. As adults we would look for someone to talk with about these stories so as to help our understanding of God and His character in the light of these stories.

While some children may have the benefit of a Christian parent who may be able to process this, many do not.

In the everyday moments of life, stuff happens. Questions arise every day, small and large, about how life works and why it doesn’t work. One of the major reasons why young people choose to leave the church is because their questions about life and faith have not been answered. Life is not meant to be journeyed alone but together in community. Close, warm relationships are vital when we are exploring strange, sometimes threatening territory, when you want to ask some of life’s biggest questions, when you want to laugh or cry, or when we simply want to sit and wonder, but not alone.

Imagine if every child had someone who is journeying with them through life, in the same way as Jesus walked beside the two disciples on the road to Emmaus.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17

PRINCIPLES & PRACTICAL IDEAS:

1. Buddy system – Low key advice and suggestions
2. Daniel Quest – Structured program used by chaplains in Queensland schools which intentionally connects Christian students with mentors. Contact SU for more information.
3. Train mentors   – don’t assume it can just happen
4. KidsHopeAus – mentoring program in state schools
5. Connect children to an approved adult in the church for a semester or a year

PEAK EXPERIENCES

A peak experience is a vital complement to the regular activities within the faith community. The experience may be a residential camp, a day camp, a special Saturday program, a concert, a special evening program, and so on. In these contexts, the faith of the young child is deepened through the mixture of meeting new kids with a real faith, being inspired by new leaders with a vibrant faith, living in community, the ‘wow’ factor of a bigger or special event – add your own….

“After six days Jesus took Peter, James and John with him and led them up a high mountain, where they were all alone. There he was transfigured before them. His clothes became dazzling white, whiter than anyone in the world could bleach them. And there appeared before them Elijah and Moses, who were talking with Jesus.” Mark 9:2-3

PRINCIPLES & PRACTICAL IDEAS:

1. Camps – helps leaders to hang in there with their faith plus faith acceleration opportunities
2. Seeing God in the every day experiences
3. Leading camps according to their gifts
4. The expectation of the peak experience is important
5. The importance of preparing kids for the coming down from the mountain
6. Plan for follow up opportunities after the peak experience
7. Inviting guest speakers/ teams to visit your church
8. Special services e.g seasons of the year.
9. Create the space so as to get the ah-ha moment as families walk into the church for different occasions
10. Being thrown I the deep end is a peak experience
11. Through the tragedies of life
12. Doing life together
13. Responding to brokenness esp as household units
14. Commemorate special people and events through history so that children can identify with the heroes of the faith
15. Confirmation/Baptism/Dedication events
16. Encouraging young people to give their testimony in a public setting e.g. at church

GENERATIONAL CONNECTIONS

Generational fragmentation is a reality that the church must engage as it navigates the 21st century. Generational fragmentation artificially divides the body of Christ and fails to fulfil its calling “To prepare God’s people for works of service…”

Most recently, postmodernism has fuelled a shift in emphasis from the needs of the community to the primacy of the individual. The developmental needs of the individual are preeminent over the needs of the corporate body.

The church is NOT a voluntary organisation – it is a group of people called together by God. The individual is accountable to God within the community context, which means his or her needs are not the primary focus, but the needs of the community are. When the needs of the individual are preeminent, generational fragmentation is inevitable.

We have isolated the generations within our churches from each other, and from the wisdom of those who have gone before them.

There is an urgent need to claim our unity and discern new paradigms for ministry that will create community, allow for mentoring, and generate fellowship across both the real and the fabricated generational lines.

“All of you are standing today in the presence of the LORD your God—your leaders and chief men, your elders and officials, and all the other men of Israel, together with your children and your wives, and the foreigners living in your camps who chop your wood and carry your water. You are standing here in order to enter into a covenant with the LORD your God, a covenant the LORD is making with you this day and sealing with an oath…” Deut 29:10-12

PRINCIPLES & PRACTICAL IDEAS:

1. Connect through all age teaching. Children given the task to ask and older person about __________ (the lesson for today).
2. Interactive moments within service – children go to adults; adults go to parents.
3. Messy Church is an excellent strategy for connecting generations.

BIG STORY OF THE BIBLE

Every part of the Bible – each event, book, character, commands, prophecy and column – must be understood in the context of one storyline. In many cases the approach to faith formation has been built around a series of disconnect Bible stories and memory verses. Our children today are looking for the big story of life and the Bible provides the story. As they enter this story it is important that they discover not only the content but also that they are a part of this story – God’s story. It is our privilege to help children find their place in God’s big story.

As we ‘earth’ each story in its place in time and space we are giving validity to the story and helping children to see that God’s story is the true big story of our world.

“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” Ps 119:105

PRINCIPLES & PRACTICAL IDEAS:

• Builds understanding of God’s mission, God’s plan of redemption
• Our world view is so limited and narrow today
• Reinforces the reality of the Bible – real people, historical people, in real places at a real time in history
• I am part of the story

1. Use resources such as “Big Bible Challenge”(Bible Society); “The Epic Story” “The Faith Effect” to ‘build’ the BIG story of the Bible into the child’s learning. Great resource – ‘Big Book of History’
2. The BIG story of the Bible must embrace the BIG questions.
3. A timeline (including Biblical characters and events as well as important events in the World) on a wall in the Church may help children to understand their part of the ‘journey’. Each child putting their name on the timeline is powerful.
4. Teaching strategies – Whenever you look at a story, put it on a dot on the timeline. Link stories.
5. People’s personal stories of faith are powerful….include many in children’s experiences.
6. ‘Cluster’ BIG themes which are shown in the Bible, into the child’s experiences and learning.
7. Parallel the characters of the Bible and their stories with everyday life. For example , the way Job dealt with ‘trials and troubles’.
8. Develop a church culture where questions of all sorts are encouraged and encountered, even though this could be very uncomfortable.
9. Help children to see that there are different ‘ways of knowing’, including moral, ethical, spiritual, scientific etc.
10. Commemorate special people and events through history so that children can identify with the heroes of the faith eg. Celebrate “Abolitionist Sunday” each November, highlighting the life of William Wilberforce and about slavery today.
11. Build into children the expectation  that they can, and should make a difference, in ‘their time’
12. Leaders need to know that this is the Big Story as well so there is a whole lot of work with adults eg. Preaching this, Facebook page updates for parents on what is taught. Bible stories need a multi- faceted approach. Same teaching across the whole church.

ANCHORS/RITES OF PASSAGE

Many cultures are rich in significant events to acknowledge the rights of passage of the developing young person within their community. Within Western culture our children move through various life stages, each of which brings its opportunities and challenges. How do we best help a young person to navigate through each of these – as a household of faith and as a community of faith? How can we be more strategic and intentional for our kids and create spaces and anchors to help them in their transformation?

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” 1 Corinthians 13:11

PRINCIPLES & PRACTICAL IDEAS:

• Anticipating, honouring and celebrating with children ‘transitions’ and ‘rites of passage’

1. Backpack Sunday – Within a Sunday church service context – Celebrating the upcoming 1sts – first day of school, new school, high school. Teaching on the implications of this on the whole family.
2. Formal dinner graduation for Year 7’s – older youth group kids serve and parents come along.
3. 18^th Special prayer element in church for 18 year olds
4. Year 12’s. Interview year 12 students about their dreams and hopes. Special prayer for them within your church family. Prayer for Year 12s before and during Schoolies’ Week.
5. Congratulation/Celebration Events for regular events in the church family e.g. Anniversary, Birthday, Engagements, Weddings
6. Honour people reaching significant birthdays (with a 0). Include opportunities to hear from them as to the difference following Jesus has made and continues make in their lives.
7. End of Primary School. Present students with a Bible and/or helpful resource.
8. Baptism/Confirmation/Dedication. Consider creative ways to include all members of the church family in this celebration.
9. On 13^th birthday – mother/daughter and father/son day or weekend
10. Plan for the inclusion of discipleship courses like the Alpha Course.